The Funniest Geek Quotes

The Funniest Geek Quotes

8 Aug 2007 ·

Humor


Got these in my inbox a few days ago. Some of these quotes have been around for quite a while so some of you might have heard or read them but anyways I’m still sharing it so you can have a laugh or two. Enjoy!

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
- Unknown

My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they’re like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I’ll trade this but not my charizard.
- Unknown

Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
- Unknown

If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
- T-Shirt

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
- T-shirt

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- Unknown

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
- T-Shirt

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
- Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
- Unknown

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you
- Unknown

People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
-Unknown

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- Unknown

The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX.
- Unknown

C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run
-Unknown

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
-Unknown

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”
-Unknown

Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
-Unknown

Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
-Unknown

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
-Unknown

Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
-Unknown

Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
-Unknown

Who needs friends? My PC is user-friendly.
-Unknown

Who needs the library? I’ve got Google!
-Unknown

Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.
-Unknown

Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.
-Unknown

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
-Unknown

You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
-Unknown

If YouTube MySpace, I’ll Google your Yahoo!
-Unknown

A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
-Unknown

Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
-Unknown

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.-Unknown

To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.
-Unknown

I’m sure there are a lot of new ones and I know that some of you have your own favorite quotes. So what are your favorite geek quotes?


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Written by Jaypee Habaradas
Owner and editor of JaypeeOnline. Self-proclaimed geek. New media writer and consultant. WordPress advocate. Loves blogging, gadgets, video games and sports. You can follow him on Twitter @jaypee or Facebook.
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32 Responses to “The Funniest Geek Quotes”

  1. Arup INDIA Google Chrome Windows Says:

    its really a nice collection…

    my fav – To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.!!!

    Reply

  2. Jaypee Habaradas UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Ubuntu Linux Says:

    @Sameer – You’re welcome! Proud to be a geek as well. :D

    Reply

  3. Sameer PAKISTAN Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    LOL! very funny!
    Thanks for sharing :)
    Proud to be a GEEK! :)

    Reply

  4. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @Pankaj – Haha..those are good ones. Me too, that’s like one of my favorite quotes. Thanks for sharing! :)

    Reply

  5. Pankaj INDIA Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    hey proud to be geek

    here are some new one

    10 HOME

    20 SWEET

    30 GOTO 10

    :p

    and

    “The code that is toughest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.”

    I like the most is
    1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
    it always make me laugh

    Reply

  6. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @undextrois – Thanks for the info. That quote you mentioned is also funny and should be added into the list. :)

    Reply

  7. undextrois PHILIPPINES Safari Windows Says:

    “Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.”
    -this is basically attributed from linus torvalds .

    and my personal favorite is “Talk is cheap.Show me the code.” -Linus

    Reply

  8. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Ubuntu Linux Says:

    @J David – Hehe that’s one of the best quotes. :D

    Oh okay. I didn’t know you were moving. Hope everything went well and again, good to see you back online. Now, I’m off to reading and commenting on your latest entry!

    Reply

  9. J David UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

    That one is my fave.

    As for me, I have been moving, so I haven’t had time to be online (there was a big couple weeks of silence over at my blog, because I was so busy). Now I am almost settled, so I will get back to work.

    Reply

  10. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Ubuntu Linux Says:

    @J David – Yeah, these quotes are really funny. So which one is your favorite? Btw, good to see you here again. Long time no comment. Hehe :)

    Reply

  11. J David UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    That is some funny stuff.

    Reply

  12. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @K – I guess you can include that too. That’s funny! :D

    Reply

  13. K HONG KONG Safari Mac OS Says:

    Totally geek. Does this include, “He’s having a DND with someone” Which would mean, SEX?

    hahaha I got it from chatrooms. :razz:

    Reply

  14. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @Aja – Me, I’m a self-proclaimed geek and proud to be one. Hehe

    Btw, only hard core programmers and geeks would understand that quote. That’s good one! Hehe :D

    Reply

  15. Aja Lapus PHILIPPINES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    Geeks are :cool: and I’m damn proud to be one. :P

    Here’s one:

    A couple, two software engineers, just had a baby. The husband asked his wife, is it 'boy' || 'girl'? To which his wife replied, true.

    Reply

  16. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @jhay – That’s the first time I heard the quote. :D

    Reply

  17. jhay PHILIPPINES Safari Windows Says:

    “Q: How do you know it’s a Windows keyboard?

    A: It’s got the Holy Trinity: ALT+CTRL+DEL on it.” :lol:

    Reply

  18. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @trench – It’s true right, software is better when it’s free but I don’t know about the other one. Hehe :mrgreen:

    Reply

  19. trench GUAM Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
    -Unknown :twisted:

    Reply

  20. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @benj – That quote is a classic! :D

    Reply

  21. benj PHILIPPINES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    haha, the first one really floored me. Crazy!

    Reply

  22. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @Joni – Being a “geek” is cool nowadays so don’t worry. ;)

    Btw, I also find that quote funny. :)

    Reply

  23. Joni PHILIPPINES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    Haha! Funny! (May naka-relate na “geek”). This one’s hilarious:

    Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
    -Unknown

    Reply

  24. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @Ade – Haha I knew you were gonna like that one. :D

    Reply

  25. Ade PHILIPPINES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”

    Winner.

    Reply

  26. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @Ria – Hehe those are cool geek quotes! I like this one:

    “No, we don’t solve math problems during our free time… we make them!”

    Thanks for dropping by! :D

    Reply

  27. Ria Jose PHILIPPINES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    In college, the Math org had these printed on their shirts…

    “I don’t love numbers… but they love me.”

    and

    “No, we don’t solve math problems during our free time… we make them!”

    HAHA!!!

    Reply

  28. Jaypee UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows Says:

    @Nice – Yeah, some of it requires some geekiness. Hehe The smileys do work. :wink:

    Btw, thanks for dropping by! :smile:

    Reply

  29. Nice from Thailand (www.SE7ENize.com) THAILAND Internet Explorer Windows Says:

    haha I’m not geeky enough to understand all of those :wink:

    btw, the clickable smileys don’t work?

    Reply

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  1. [...] The Funniest Geek Quotes – GeekBoy says, “There are are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who does not“. NotGeekBoy replies, “You only mentioned two (2) out of ten (10) dumbass!!!” I always laugh when I see replies like this. [...]

  2. [...] The Funniest Geek Quotes – GeekBoy says, “There are are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who does not“. NotGeekBoy replies, “You only mentioned two (2) out of ten (10) dumbass!!!” I always laugh when I see replies like this. [...]

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