The Funniest Geek Quotes



Got an email in my inbox a few days ago about an article entitled “The Funniest Geek Quotes”. Some of these quotes have been around for quite a while so some of you might have heard or read them but anyways I’m still sharing it so you can have a laugh or two. Enjoy!

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
– Unknown

My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they’re like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I’ll trade this but not my charizard.
– Unknown

Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
– Unknown

If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
– T-Shirt

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
– T-shirt

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
– Unknown

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
– T-Shirt

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
– Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
– Unknown

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you
– Unknown

People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
-Unknown

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
– Unknown

The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX.
– Unknown

C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run
-Unknown

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
-Unknown

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”
-Unknown

Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
-Unknown

Failure is not an option – it comes bundled with Windows.
-Unknown

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
-Unknown

Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
-Unknown

Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
-Unknown

Who needs friends? My PC is user-friendly.
-Unknown

Who needs the library? I’ve got Google!
-Unknown

Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.
-Unknown

Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.
-Unknown

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
-Unknown

You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
-Unknown

If YouTube MySpace, I’ll Google your Yahoo!
-Unknown

A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
-Unknown

Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
-Unknown

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.-Unknown

To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.
-Unknown

I’m sure there are a lot of new ones and I know that some of you have your own favorite quotes. So what are your favorite funniest geek quotes? Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

Owner and editor of JaypeeOnline. Self-proclaimed geek. New media writer and consultant. WordPress advocate. Loves blogging, gadgets, video games and sports. You can follow him on Google+, Facebook or Twitter.

29 Comments

  1. Arup

    January 17, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    its really a nice collection…

    my fav – To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.!!!

  2. JP Habaradas

    December 5, 2010 at 5:30 AM

    @Sameer – You’re welcome! Proud to be a geek as well. :D

  3. Sameer

    December 5, 2010 at 5:27 AM

    LOL! very funny!
    Thanks for sharing :)
    Proud to be a GEEK! :)

  4. JP Habaradas

    November 24, 2008 at 11:00 AM

    @Pankaj – Haha..those are good ones. Me too, that’s like one of my favorite quotes. Thanks for sharing! :)

  5. Pankaj

    November 24, 2008 at 10:56 AM

    hey proud to be geek

    here are some new one

    10 HOME

    20 SWEET

    30 GOTO 10

    :p

    and

    “The code that is toughest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.”

    I like the most is
    1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
    it always make me laugh

  6. JP Habaradas

    August 16, 2007 at 9:34 PM

    @undextrois – Thanks for the info. That quote you mentioned is also funny and should be added into the list. :)

  7. undextrois

    August 16, 2007 at 8:06 AM

    “Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.”
    -this is basically attributed from linus torvalds .

    and my personal favorite is “Talk is cheap.Show me the code.” -Linus

  8. JP Habaradas

    August 12, 2007 at 6:57 AM

    @J David – Hehe that’s one of the best quotes. :D

    Oh okay. I didn’t know you were moving. Hope everything went well and again, good to see you back online. Now, I’m off to reading and commenting on your latest entry!

  9. J David

    August 12, 2007 at 2:25 AM

    Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

    That one is my fave.

    As for me, I have been moving, so I haven’t had time to be online (there was a big couple weeks of silence over at my blog, because I was so busy). Now I am almost settled, so I will get back to work.

  10. JP Habaradas

    August 11, 2007 at 10:14 PM

    @J David – Yeah, these quotes are really funny. So which one is your favorite? Btw, good to see you here again. Long time no comment. Hehe :)

  11. J David

    August 11, 2007 at 10:49 AM

    That is some funny stuff.

  12. JP Habaradas

    August 10, 2007 at 8:36 PM

    @K – I guess you can include that too. That’s funny! :D

  13. K

    August 10, 2007 at 3:50 PM

    Totally geek. Does this include, “He’s having a DND with someone” Which would mean, SEX?

    hahaha I got it from chatrooms. :razz:

  14. JP Habaradas

    August 10, 2007 at 6:45 AM

    @Aja – Me, I’m a self-proclaimed geek and proud to be one. Hehe

    Btw, only hard core programmers and geeks would understand that quote. That’s good one! Hehe :D

  15. Aja Lapus

    August 10, 2007 at 6:14 AM

    Geeks are :cool: and I’m damn proud to be one. :P

    Here’s one:

    A couple, two software engineers, just had a baby. The husband asked his wife, is it 'boy' || 'girl'? To which his wife replied, true.

  16. JP Habaradas

    August 9, 2007 at 10:15 AM

    @jhay – That’s the first time I heard the quote. :D

  17. jhay

    August 9, 2007 at 10:12 AM

    “Q: How do you know it’s a Windows keyboard?

    A: It’s got the Holy Trinity: ALT+CTRL+DEL on it.” :lol:

  18. JP Habaradas

    August 9, 2007 at 6:00 AM

    @trench – It’s true right, software is better when it’s free but I don’t know about the other one. Hehe :mrgreen:

  19. trench

    August 9, 2007 at 5:47 AM

    Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
    -Unknown :twisted:

  20. JP Habaradas

    August 9, 2007 at 5:30 AM

    @benj – That quote is a classic! :D

  21. benj

    August 9, 2007 at 5:24 AM

    haha, the first one really floored me. Crazy!

  22. JP Habaradas

    August 8, 2007 at 11:55 PM

    @Joni – Being a “geek” is cool nowadays so don’t worry. ;)

    Btw, I also find that quote funny. :)

  23. Joni

    August 8, 2007 at 11:52 PM

    Haha! Funny! (May naka-relate na “geek”). This one’s hilarious:

    Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
    -Unknown

  24. JP Habaradas

    August 8, 2007 at 10:45 PM

    @Ade – Haha I knew you were gonna like that one. :D

  25. Ade

    August 8, 2007 at 10:41 PM

    The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”

    Winner.

  26. JP Habaradas

    August 8, 2007 at 1:18 PM

    @Ria – Hehe those are cool geek quotes! I like this one:

    “No, we don’t solve math problems during our free time… we make them!”

    Thanks for dropping by! :D

  27. Ria Jose

    August 8, 2007 at 1:17 PM

    In college, the Math org had these printed on their shirts…

    “I don’t love numbers… but they love me.”

    and

    “No, we don’t solve math problems during our free time… we make them!”

    HAHA!!!

  28. JP Habaradas

    August 8, 2007 at 1:16 PM

    @Nice – Yeah, some of it requires some geekiness. Hehe The smileys do work. :wink:

    Btw, thanks for dropping by! :smile:

  29. Nice from Thailand (www.SE7ENize.com)

    August 8, 2007 at 1:15 PM

    haha I’m not geeky enough to understand all of those :wink:

    btw, the clickable smileys don’t work?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.