1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end
in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you’re welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s
wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

So what can you say about it? Isn’t most of it true? For the guys, you can use this information to help you better understand and as a way of deciphering what your woman wants. For the women, even with this information we can still forget sometimes so please be more considerate, patient and understanding with us guys, okay?

Btw, the popularity of the MacBook AIr is also making the Philippines popular. Why? Because the manila envelope is now synonymous to the MacBook Air. Hehe

video source: College Humor

A few hours ago, the guys at Gizmodo posted a confession about a nasty prank they played in this year’s CES at Las Vegas. Armed with TV-B-Gone clickers, Gizmodo bloggers went around and started shutting off TV displays of different company exhibits or booths, even turning off a whole wall of TVs. The nastiest part was interfering with Motorola representatives while doing their presentation.

I laughed while watching the video but it didn’t feel quite right. It’s funny but in a wrong way. Thinking about it, Gizmodo’s bloggers actions were not appropriate. They could have done it once and stopped but they didn’t. Their explanation was “we pretty much couldn’t help ourselves“. Some people are saying that Gizmodo should be banned at CES, the upcoming MacWorld Expo and in other tradeshows. Bloggers on the other hand are concerned that they too would be banned or not invited because of Gizmodo’s actions.

Click here to watch the video.

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. An American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?”

Acknowledging Dave, the American on his right, the man replied, “A THOUGHT”.

It just pops into your head. There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.”

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.

“And now you sir?” he asked Vladimir, the Russian.

“Hmm…. let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. “A BLINK” is the fastest thing I know of.”

“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye,that’s a very popular cliche for speed.”

He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, “TURNING ON A LIGHT” is the fastest thing I can think of.”

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light” he said.

Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, “Apter herring da 3 frevyos ansers sirrr, et’s obyus to me dat the fastest thang known is “DIARRHEA”.”

“WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

“O I can expleyn serrr .” said Eleuterio. ” YOU SEE SERR, DA other day I wasn’t peeeling so good and I run soo fast to the CR or bathroom, But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, ay ‘tang ina, I already had a big tae, ka-ka or poo-poo in my pants.

Eleuterio is now the new “Greeter” at Wal-Mart.

Here’s something funny that I received in my inbox earlier today. Thought it was funny so I’m sharing with it you guys. If you’re a bit stressed or having a rough day, take a short break and read through this. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna feel a bit better afterwards. Enjoy!

He’s two raisins short of a fruitcake.

Having him show up is like having 2 good men call in sick!

A Forest Killer – Somebody’s who’s able to produce paper, but no answers.

He must have donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

Not only is he not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he is the spoon in the knife drawer.

Her staircase doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

She has two speeds…slow and stop!

Did he have an extra cup of stupid this morning?

If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.

Results of a performance review: “I thought this guy’s performance had reached rock bottom, but then he started to dig.”

The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead.

I’ve heard of people having an inferiority complex, but in your case it isn’t a complex.

Not only does his elevator not go to the top, but the cable’s broken.

A “file cabinet wearing a dress” is the way one of our members described one particularly “unbusy” woman.

And in an Information Systems department, one of our members had a term they used for clueless users with silly complaints. They’d call them: ID ten T errors (ID10T better spelled IDIOT!)

Hope you guys liked it and that it made you laugh even for a while. I know this has a part 2 but I still have to look for it. I’ll post it as soon as I find it.

[image source: Manuel Lino]